Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Nothing

Lily is home sick, for the second day in a row.  The miniature critic in me thought she was probably taking a few liberties, as she seemed quite a bit better last night, but the mindful mother in me knows that sometimes you just need to get away from the pressures of your daily existence and sit for a time- watching t.v. and eating copious amounts of toast with raspberry jam.  Especially when you have quite a cough, and your brothers are tucked away at school and you have the house and the remote control all to yourself.  I respect my children's ability to make those choices for themselves- call me crazy, but I've always believed that young people are born knowing deeply what they need- and I respect that. 

There are a plethora of things I could be doing right now, or, dare I say should be doing- getting my broken eyeglasses replaced, scrubbing a second load of pots and pans, thinking about dinner, making appointments, filling out forms for upcoming doctor visits and for summer camps....but after my four year-old left for preschool, I went to get in the car to drive to the optician and, listening to the rhythm of the rain hitting the sidewalk through my open windows, I just sat down-thinking how glorious that melody was, how nice the breeze felt on my sunburned skin- and I did nothing but soak it all in, noticing how wonderful it felt to just do nothing.  Doing nothing is so glorious.  And rare.  There were so many days, last week, where I got to sundown just wanting to cry because I was so tired- I'd been running kids to so many places ALL DAY LONG.  So, this morning, I am joining my fourteen year-old daughter in taking some time off.  Come 11:30, and that luxury will disappear, with a whole host of specialists and appointments and other motherly obligations....but,for now, my feet are up and the birds are singing and, maybe, just maybe, I'll stomp in some puddles before I stop doing nothing.






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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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