Thursday, April 5, 2012

My Extraordinary Ordinaries

Its late.  I committed to a 10 o'clock bedtime, for myself, last week, which, so far,  I have managed to only honor once.  Change is a beast....and I haven't yet embraced it, though I know the benefits of more sleep, for this exhausted mama, are a most necessary piece of my recovery. But I long for solitude- just to hear myself think, and to contemplate my thoughts- maybe even daydream a bit....and that can't be done when one is bonding with her four children, on this, the eve of a very truncated spring break. 

Tonight I got the itch- as I held my four year-old, asleep in my arms, and inhaled his every exhale, breathing in the miracle of his life, trying to memorize these moments, which are fleeting and slipping away.  Tonight I got the itch to share with you, dear readers, about the soul-breaths I shared with my little boy, a tiny but significant piece of today's ordinary moments, which are extraordinary, if only to me. 

I wanted to share with you the beauty of my littlest boy, being wrestled to the ground by one of his pre-school classmates-so typical to most- that is, after all, what boys do, except for my boy,Seth, who had never had that privilege, until now...how extraordinary to behold my son being an ordinary boy; then  gathering a dinner, with my four children, in under thirty minutes, in a crowded super market, albeit exhausted from a long day of ordinary tub after tub of laundry, and days worth of dishes backed up in my sink, and play dates, and medical evaluations, and vacuuming, and hearing myself plead, over and over again "take off your shoes before setting foot in this living room," no less than forty times....I wanted to share with you the beauty of having a less-than-ordinary dinner of pop-tarts, toaster strudels, fried chicken, and a sub, hand-picked and gathered by those children, then packing ordinary Easter eggs with them, for an impromptu community egg hunt that we'll host in our backyard tomorrow....how extraordinary it was that not one of those kids ate a single morsel of the candy intended for those eggs...how we all hunkered down in the kitchen and watched Moneyball together and how my nine year-old son, who takes me to the brink of homicide on a daily basis, was the last one standing, soaking in all of the details of that story- so far above his maturity level...but so tapped into everything that drives him with the passion that he runs on, in all of his living.  How Lily and I held hands, for a while, and it seemed so normal that I didn't even notice I was doing it, at first.  And how I watched my eleven year-old son continue with his engineering plans, drawn with pain-staking detail, for the much researched club house, to be constructed in a tree, on our property, any summer now. 

Extraordinary stuff is happening all around us everyday, mostly going unnoticed, and unappreciated, because we are looking for the fireworks, the death-defying mission trips to third-world countries, saving starving children at all costs.  While wonderful, don't get me wrong, those aren't really the times that matter most in our lives.  The extraordinary REALLY happens when we are able to gaze upon all that is so very, very ordinary, the dailiness of our being, and know just how miraculous and amazing it all is.  To be mindful during those moments, instead of wishing for bigger, flashier, more fantastic circumstances.  God, who is so extraordinary, lies I believe, not in our achievements, but in the places that do not shine or scream "greatness,"- in all of the things you think do not matter at allEXTRAORDINARY  is within you.  Look for it.

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About Me

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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