Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The $85.12 Pair Of Underwear

***My sincere apologies to my four year-old son, Seth, for disclosing this very intimate information about your undergarments and current bathroom habits.  I solemnly swear not to read this post, outloud, to your class at show-n-tell, to your prom date, or in a toast at your wedding.**

Seth and I drove to Target, yesterday afternoon, to pick out some new underwear for him, as his current supply had grown dangerously low.  Staring, with pure joy, at the racks, he enthusiastically chose the "Phineas and Ferb" print, knowing that his two older brothers would be so impressed.  He could not wait to go home and put on one of the five pair in the package, each of which he had feverishly inspected and held, in his carseat, on the way back to our house.  As Liam and Benjamin walked through the door, after school, Seth proudly did his version of "I'm too sexy for these briefs" on the pretend catwalk, otherwise known as our basement stairs, greeting them with the face of Perry the Platypus on his wiggling bottom. 

Much to Seth's horror, however, he didn't quite make it to the potty, and abruptly soiled his new underwear, which I found hidden behind the toilet.  As I washed them, on the "sanitize" setting, last night, I laughed as I thought about how pricey ol' Perry the Platypus had become:

$9.99------------Package of Five Phineas and Ferb Size 6 Boys Briefs
$65.13----------Cost of all the other items one feels compelled to purchase, once in that very   dangerous store, like food that is much cheaper than our Giant Eagle, clearance clothing for growing sons, Easter card making decor, things for Lily's 8th grade literature project, art supplies for the rainy days.....you get the picture.
$5.00------------Approximate cost of the gas it took to get to Target, which is about 18 mins from my home
$5.00------------Probable cost of the extra hot water, electricity, Tide, and Oxy, used to properly clean the poop out of those Perry The Platypus undies, for a nearly two-hour spin in our washing machine.

Really, people, is it any wonder raising kids is so expensive, and why moms are so valuable? 

But the real deal, the reason why I do what I do, is my four year-old waking up to an evidence free pair of underwear this morning.... NOW THAT IS PRICELESS!!!


naja said...

I totally get this! My trips to Target never go below $80!

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Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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