Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Climb

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa
-Myley Cyrus

I haven't posted in a while.  Mostly I've been living out my days without much time to ponder them- self-preservation at its finest, my friends. 

There were moments, tonight, though, around the kitchen table, which caught my breath and lead me to you- thinking you might want to share in this story with me.

Its been a long day.  Busy with stuff- all of it mundane, yet important.  Lily and I were  eating dinner, later than the rest of the family, and she says to me, without pomp and circumstance, "I gave my presentation in English today and you were my personal connection..."  I was so tired and worn-out that I almost missed it...."I was your what?"  "You were my personal connection....I was speaking about the Miley Cyrus song "The Climb" and I told my class that you were hospitalized last fall with anxiety and how you made it through and you are a great mom." 

For a while I just stared at her, trying to absorb the wonder of her words, all at once.  Trying to appreciate, fully, the fact that I am so imperfect, yet apparently making such an impact that my teenager doesn't care that all of the kids in her school know that I am kind of a nut job.  This amazes me more than I can speak about right now.  And moves me to the core.

I may just be the luckiest mother alive, which would make every moment that I've spent in total despair totally worth it.  And without a doubt, I would do it all over again, go to hell and back, just to make an ounce worth of difference in this girl's life.

1 comments:

Lori said...

There's just nothing better than those amazing moments with your children and they definitely make it all worth while. She's a great kid, Judy. You're definitely doing something right. Keep up the great work. <3

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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