Thursday, December 9, 2010

A Rosary Of Gratitude

When I was a freshman in high school, the gospel choir performed a song that I've never forgotten, and sometimes I sing it to my little boy, as I'm rocking him to sleep.  "Count your blessings, name them one by one, count your blessings, see what the Lord has done, count your blessings, count your many blessings see what the Lord has done."  Even during the worst of times, you usually can count at least one, though it may roll off of your tongue amongst sobs so palpable, you fear you may actually stop breathing as they fall from your lips.  I am not Catholic but I own a rosary.  There are days when it occupies a space in my nightstand, or its perfectly draped over my three year-old's lampshade  Occasionally I look over and  discover it around his neck when he wants to hold "Deezuts".  But tonight this bejeweled version of Christ resides between my fingers, as I move over each bead and whisper one thing that I am grateful for.  There have been many times over the last few months that I would not have made it even half-way down one side of this string, but, as I lay here in my claw-foot tub, soaking in a bath of minerals, I work through two full circles, speaking to God with abiding thanks for the people on my path who are daring to walk next to me, even as I stumble or seem to be out of courage.  I stop to consider the bare necessities that I no longer take for granted.  I praise him  for chances to make a difference, even while my own needs can seem so great. And for Christmas-for the beauty of this season as seen through the eyes of my children, while they gaze at wonderous displays of lights, pack shoe boxes of toys to go overseas, compile lists for Santa, and getting excited over what they are giving to one another. Once the water becomes too tepid, and my heart is fully humbled, I raise up an "amen".  Tomorrow night, its more of the same, with mercy and grace flowing over me, reminding me how far I've come, how I never thought I would feel my troubled soul rejoice again.


Anonymous said...

thank you, Judy.

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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