Sunday, March 28, 2010

Diary Of A Wimpy Mommy....

I've been saving love songs and lullabies
And there's so much more
No one's ever heard before
Something's telling me it might be you
Yeah, it's telling me it must be you and
I'm feeling it'll just be you
All of my life



1am: awakened by the warmth of a seven year-old, monopolizing three quarters of my very small Queen Size mattress.

3am: awakened again by the same seven year-old, as I'm getting closer and closer to having my head make intimate contact with the hard wood floor.

6am: still awake, now ready to catapult said offspring out the window but I'm too out of shape to lift him. wondering exactly how I'll make it through the day and cursing my husband who's having a "boys weekend" with my nine year-old, at my behest (apparently I was smoking some hallucinogenics at the time)

10am: shuttling three of my four kids to Eat N- Park for breakfast, a surprisingly pleasant experience, despite my two year-old's obsession with people in other booths. Benjamin, the aforementioned bed thief, was shockingly calm, and demonstrated amazing abilities to color within the lines on his menu, giving me a sense of peace that he might have a chance at a real career if his NFL aspirations should prove less than successful.

12pm: channeling my dramatic side (the one prone to hysterics), trying to scrub floors, clean sinks, wipe counters, vacuum and mop, in preparation for the 1 o'clock "open house", all the while watching as my children chase the puppy around our cul-de-sac in the pouring rain. And, oh, what the heck does one do with a dog and children, for four hours, when they must be out of the home, in a torrential downpour and frigid temps?

3pm: wondering at what point life could get funnier (or more cruel), as my four children and I are forced to separate in the theater, for the afternoon showing of "Diary of a Wimpy Kid", leaving me, the two year-old and the bed robber in one row, and the older/more civilized 9 and 12 year-olds in another. The audience, though encompassed by mostly the under 4 foot crowd, was unfortunately intent on seeing this film, and weren't so noisy as to cover-up the screams of my less than mindful toddler, who bullied his entire family into giving up most of our popcorn, soda, and candy, hoping to stuff him into silence.

4ish: Seth has circled about 350 times, from his seat, around to the front by the screen, and back, all the while filling his diaper with the foulest, most toxic waste ever, hollering "hi mommy!!!" and "where my dink (drink)" over and over again. I am now feeling dizzy and trying to remember to breathe (and I'm still cursing my husband).

5:30: driving around the outskirts of Pittsburgh, laughing 'til I'm crying with my children and husband, wishing that these moments weren't so fleeting and the hysteria I felt earlier was not a part of my current reality.

9pm: relaxing together in our freshly cleaned family room, massaging Bob-the dog (in an effort to keep him from eating one of my offspring), trying to read my e-mail for the first time in four days, attempting to share the hilarity of "Tootsie" (that fabulous "oldie" with Dustin Hoffman and Bill Murray) with my only slightly interested children.

My emotions have run the gamut today, and in some ways I hate that- I want to believe that I can handle any amount of stress or transition or misbehavior that life throws my way...but I'm more human than that...more wimpy.

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About Me

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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