Friday, July 24, 2009

A Million Silly Things

I've got a million silly things to say tonight. And I'm going to try my best to just blurt them out and let them go, into the blogosphere, without the normal hours of exhausting editing and pondering that I generally do before being satisfied that I have written exactly what I want to, in the way that I want you to hear it.

My husband is chortling out loud, as only he can do, while reading "My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands" by Chelsea Handler. One might be curious as to why a forty-one year old man would be consuming this vomitous of promiscuity, meant for the most desperate of American females. Its okay, folks- I inherited the book this morning in a spree through my friend Missy's astounding collection of fiction, non-fiction, and, as evidenced by this literary work, pure vulgarity. He came home this evening, seeing me in tears, laughing so hard I was literally falling out of the chair. And I must say, in Tom's defense, that the book, which I read in the forty-five blissful minutes I had alone this evening, is completely hilarious, and more a comedic outlet than erotica. So if you need to give yourself a break from the drama of your life, you too may want to venture horizontally for a spell- be weary, however, if your bladder has a weakness in the continence department. Grab a Depends and read away. You won't have a straight face for hours. Guaranteed.

Today is Friday and in the Sombar household that can mean only one thing- CANDY. Nothing makes my children happier than sugar. We can call them in for dinner, in for a movie, in for a fight with silly string and shaving cream, and they'll ignore us and stay in the neighbors' yards playing feverishly until bedtime, when the obstacle of darkness and a lack of clear vision forces them back home. But this evening, when reminded in a loud roar from their father, that it was time to go to the grocery store for candy, the stampede of time took place, where only the most agile of children made it into our van without face planting in the yard. Our local Giant Eagle has a rather divine confectionery shop, with dozens of barrels of every candy imaginable, available for purchase, in bulk. Once home, the trading, bartering, begging, and hard-selling ensues, generally ending in bellowing and violence. Seth has now joined his siblings in the sugar-addicts club, though he is limited by my remaining common sense to the organic raw cane gummy treats, of which his un-chaperoned and less conscious father decided to purchase him an entire pound. I requested a few twizzlers and Hershey's Kisses and got neither (though there is a whole host of other delights on my kitchen counter, if you like root beer balls, blow-pops, dum-dums, and caramels, come on over. I'll pass).

Tom brought home The Shield, Season VII for our date-at-home-in-our-ghetto-bedroom tonight. I thought it rather hilarious and most mentionable that the cover boasted a DVD "Loaded With Extra Value- Adult Content." So....I guess we are to assume that Fox was trying to grasp the not-quite-porn-crowd with that nugget of info...I might find HGTV more titillating, frankly, though I do love Michael Chiklis and have devoured every episode of that series, over the past few years, with much fervor.

Well, everyone under five feet is nestled snugly on the love seat at the back of our kitchen, eating my famous stove-popped popcorn,'m not sure actually. Hopefully nothing loaded with some extra value adult content.


whapper/Jing said...

Hi Judy and Tom and kiddies! This is Connie L! Ive enjoyed reading your blog and watching your children grow!! You havent typed anything in a month! I hope this comment finds you all healthy and enjoying whats left of summer! look forward to hearing more about you and the family!

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Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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