Monday, June 15, 2009

Tom Worship

There's a lot of what I will call "Tom Worship" going on in this fabulous beach abode, this week. There are two women here, other than me, and they've both decided that my husband is, without a doubt, a dream. He's one of those "hands-on" guys- who doesn't have any pre-conceived notions of what it means to be a "man"- (he cleans, pays attention to his wife and children, offers help when necessary). I laugh out loud at this- mostly because I know it is true, but it seems funny to me, somehow, that I, of all people, would end up with this marvelous life-partner. I'd tried many of the opposing gender on for size, so to speak, before he showed up. I've loved him now for so long that I hardly remember what life was like before we met- actually, I DO remember and it wasn't that great, frankly. I had a boyfriend that I had decided I was gonna marry, come hell or high water- until he put the nail in the coffin of our relationship with the "I don't want to ever have kids" conversation....and, after grieving for many months, there was my husband, this person I never thought twice about....and then I just knew my fate was sealed. He was this soul whose mold my own spirit fit into so perfectly- and he poured love all over me like I'd never experienced in my life. And to this day, he still does, though perhaps not always as I wish- but in ways that are sacred to him.

We have an imperfect marriage- as we are both human and flawed as individuals. At the end of the day, however, he's still the person I run to when I am my happiest or my most sorrowful...he is still the father who is so much more for my children than I could have dreamed of...Sometimes I feel like I need to be offering him more of me- that somehow all of what I have isn't enough- and he just shrugs me off- saying he's got what he needs and that is all he wants.

So my kisses for him today have been just a little sweeter- knowing that, for once in my life, I think I may have just done something right- finding this man. He's a keeper and I so love him.


ljaymc said...

What a lovely love letter to your husband! And I remember when it was just beginning. ; ) Enjoy your time at the beach!

Judy said...

yes you do woman! did I really try to go up the down escalator that night? :)

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Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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