Saturday, January 24, 2009

An Odd Array Of Ramblings

I've been avoiding the blogosphere lately- distracted by other priorities in my life- and a little of that familiar evil known as mother-guilt: you know the one- that little voice that tells you that if you choose your blog over your middle child's sudden urge to play the "Pirates of the Carribbean" version of LIFE,
you will, no doubt, be doomed to bad-mommy pergatory, or worse, the emotional collapse of this same son, once he's thirty and laying on the couch in his shrink's office and he pours forth each one of your bad choices that have done him harm. So....I played LIFE about eighteen times this weekend and ignored you...so sorry.

Here are some highlights from the last few days: *My baby slept through the night last night (which he hasn't done for months, I think)****I fell asleep without the help of Ambien,
my current addiction, much like crack for those of us who become immediately psycho when deprived of slumber. I've been taking it on and off since the birth of my fourth child. When first we met, ol' Ambien and I, I thought it a miracle from the heavens- I hadn't gotten such good zzz's in years, maybe decades. But alas, nine months of this particular benzodiazapine, and I'm leary and rather uncomfortable with a life revolving around dependance on pills smaller than a tic-tac, not to mention the utter humiliation of having to call my Dr. every month and whisper to the grouchy receptionist that I need a refill- hoping, fingers crossed, that she won't call back and say "what the hell's wrong with you lady- no way! we're cutting you off!" Did I mention that I took Benadryl instead? Is that addictive? Well, its cheaper anyway, right?**** I've been doing the "Wii Fit" everyday (almost) for about a week now, 60 minutes a pop. When I first heard of this gizmo, a year ago, I laughed my fat a$# off to think of the stupid people who would be getting their exercise courtesy of a Nintendo. Now I'm banking my health and welfare on it and have to say, that in this miserable climate of Western Pennsylvania, it is the best method I have to try and whiddle down this body of mine to something more acceptable than it currently is. When I first step on the Balance Board,
it makes a moan, which I can only assume is its way of letting me know that it feels the pain of my current girth and is hoping I kick it into high-gear so this is only a temporary condition- then it gives me my BMI, which, by the way, is horrible but still in the range that certain Asian countries would find passable in order to adopt a child from them (in case you were interested, and NOT that I'm adopting- I just know these things- and those Asians don't want any REAL fatties to be taking their precious babes across the Pacific- so they have a BMI limit- no kidding). Then my TV screen goes on to spill the beans on my weight, which fluctuates like the wind, and can make or break my day, people. Then I spend a full hour, because I am determined or a nut, sweating it out- appearing a whole lot like Bridget Jones
might on the same contraption- flustered and angry and sloppy as can be. But I do the LOOOOOOOOOOOONG runs, and ten whole minutes of
hoola-hooping (don't knock it 'til you've tried it- totally crazy and exhausting- and you look like a real dumbass to boot), then I go for the boxing challenge for another ten minutes- to which Benjamin always comments "Mommy- why you look so angry when you boxing, Mommy? You mad, Mommy? You look mean, Mommy." Then I alternate with some strength training, which makes me realize just how out of shape I am, as I trip and fall over the board while trying to stand on one foot while tossing the other in mid-air.****Lily has been playing some weird boy-kissing-dare game at school with her buds which makes me laugh and her father cringe. She claims not to have made contact with any of the boys, all of whom she says are totally disgusting, but I'm having my doubts. And she's looking more beautiful by the day- and I find myself just staring at her, thinking to myself that Tom and I must have some good breeding chemistry or something....****Liam has a perforated eardrum, which sounds gross, but he loves the taste of amoxycillin so he seems to have some extra spring in his step now that he gets to drink it twice a day. Lookin' a little like his nut-job addict mother, eh? amoxycillin? Come on, kid, there's gotta be a better treat than that! But Friday, when I had to take him to our fab-o pediatrician, Liam and I had a lot of laughs and stellar bonding time, just us and Sethy. So maybe the gross ear thing was worth it?****Tom and I watched a hilarious Cohen brothers flick this evening- Burn after Reading- total laugh out loud kind of stuff- and if you've never heard my hubby when he's enjoying a good comedy- well, he's a real dork- people in the theater actually turn around and stare when he laughs- its really embarassing. Thank God for pay-per-view.****And last, but not least, I'm reading a book right now called "See You In A Hundred Years" by Logan Ward,
which chronicles a year in the life of he and his family as they turn their backs on swanky Manhattan life to live on a farm in Virginia, using only what was available in 1900. I'm just finishing the prologue (no small feat for a mother of four, might I add), and I'm already ditching my dream of agriculture heaven, as Mr. Ward spends the entirety of many pages discussing the plethora of snakes he encounters in the first few days of living in the Shenandoah valley. I told Tom, who also dreams of this farm utopia, that the only place we're pitching our forks is Alaska- because it is the only state in the U.S. that is free of those slithering vermen reptiles. Then my thoughtful husband reminded me that the twenty-four hours a day of darkness, for six months a year, might not partner well with my Seasonal Affective Disorder. Oh, forget it, friends. Suburbia it is.

Well, the Benadryl is kicking-in tonight so I'm gonna let you all go while I drift off into some happy dreams.

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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