Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Spiral Down

I decided to go ahead and try to post something this morning- things aren't going too well here today. Tom's away on a trip, which automatically makes life quite a bit more challenging for me. I held pretty close to schedule last night, which makes the evening run smoother, and, with the exception of Lily not feeling good and Benjamin having a serious outburst ("i hate you mommy- i want to punch you in the head mommy") when I asked him to get in the tub, I mothered my children okay. Then the nightmare began at 1am, with both Seth and Benjamin awake, coughing, restless, and laying in my bed. I alternated from trying to go back to sleep to wanting to jump out a window- rocking Seth down only to have Ben throw a huge tantrum and wake him up again. I got back to sleep, five hours later, at 6am, for an hour. All four kids are home today, Lily,Liam, and Seth are sick and Ben not due for kindergarten until this afternoon. I'd like to say that we're doing something creative and cozy, like building a nest and watching movies together but, frankly, I haven't the energy or the desire to be that nice. Everytime I turn around, there seems to be a disaster awaiting me- like Seth licking the toilet-bowl brush (can we all just puke now?) or Seth having diarrhea that shoots up to his shoulders before I catch it. Coping until tonight, when Tom should be home, seems utterly impossible, the minutes ticking by slower than ever....

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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