Thursday, October 9, 2008

happy ache

I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
and I crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under covers stayin dry *(safe) and warm
you give me feelins that I adore

It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

What am I gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........mmmmmm

It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever you go, I'll always know
Cause you make me smile here, just for a while




I have written many times over the years about my frustrations with the dailiness of mothering- the inconveniences, the fears, the heartbreaks. I wanted to write a little about the feelings I've had, since my children have returned to school- realizing, somewhere in the middle of my day, that I miss them, and how much I love them so- how integral they are to my spirit, my life, my everything. When I take Benjamin to kindergarten each day, I end up running into Liam and Lily in the hallway somewhere, and I ache- and deep in my core I just want to reach out and hold them close to me, be in their presence- know how they're doing- if the day's been good- if they are happy- if they aren't. I want to soak them up, wrap myself around them and soar with the knowledge that these little people have been loaned to me by the heavens- what a marvelous journey I've had inscribed onto my soul- to parent them completely, with all that I have in me to give. God I thank you for entrusting these beings to me- boy, am I lucky to be their mom.

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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