Thursday, February 28, 2008

Mommy Porn-The Gift That Keeps On Giving

I opened my mailbox this morning to a wonderful sight- two of my very favorite magazines had arrived, after what seemed to be a very long respite: Cottage Living (a/k/a DECORATING PORN- a clever phrase coined by my soultwin Mary Anne Darling), and Mothering (what i would call CRUNCHY LIBERAL PARENTING PORN- for mamas like me who breastfeed til their nipples hit the floor)- both gifts from my mother. I am a magazine junkie. I relish long lines at Giant Eagle just so I can stand there and get my fill of Hollywood garbage- like US or the CBS Soaps chronicle (since I don't get to watch those anymore- very inappropriate for the youngins). I gage the quality of Doctor's offices based on whether or not they purchase a subscription to my all-time favorite GOSSIP PORN- People Magazine. If the waiting room contains only a few old National Geographics (though I will read those), Golf Digest, or the dreaded AARP, I know that my experience in the exam room will be equally as lacking.

A magazine addiction is a nasty little habit that will break the bank and eat up all your grocery money if you aren't careful. After years of spending more money than I or my husband want to know, on monthly issues, I got wise and asked my closest peeps to shower me with subscriptions for my birthday, last July. Now, every month, or every other month, the best gifts await me from my friendly postman. In addition to the previously mentioned titles, two other triple-x decor zines grace my box- Better Homes and Gardens (from my good friend Stacey Walls) and Southern Living (from my Mama-In-Law Rose).

Now for those of you who read my post from several days ago, you will undoubtedly be sitting there, reading this confession of sorts, shaking your head- because no one who reads magazines can ever feel contentment- especially none with titles that end with "...Living" (in addition to the aforementioned topics, there is the infamous Martha Stewart Living- which could drive any normal person into a frenzy of decorating and crafting insanity, or Coastal Living- which will show all of us middle class dwellers truly how deprived we are. Even the zen-guru of all things altruistic- Ms.Oprah Winfrey- her glossy dose of O-PORN is more than most of us can bare- really, friends, can the average joe afford anything she recommends on those pages. No!!!). If I felt compelled at all to live a more monastic lifestyle, as far as simplicity and gratitude were concerned, I'd call off every one of these subscriptions and ask for homemade granola and perhaps some windchimes, instead.

Now if I could only stop singing B-I-N-G-O at the top of my lungs and neglect my children long enough to find the time to sit my happy-slappy down on the sofa and indulge my senses in the fantasies of furniture arranging and natural parenting. Ah...


About Me

My photo
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

Follow Me Through My Daisies

On My Nightstand Tonight

  • Sarah's Key
  • The Bible (NIV)

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed

Powered by Blogger.

Blog Archive