Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Key To My Success May Be...ESPN


HUH?!!!

well, you all will be relieved to know that I've developed an interest in going to the gym at the crack of dawn, again, so perhaps there is some hope in the "someday being less curvy department" (except for the huge "porn" boobs which I currently am sporting and would like to keep).

interestingly enough, due to the malfunction of my tired iPod shuffle (version #1 from its genesis several years ago), i have been forced to haul my happy slappy on the treadmill while watching ESPN on the monitor above me (the only other members in the gym at 5:30 are middle-aged men- so they get the pick of channels). At first, I felt a bit of rage begin to boil under my skin, that I would have to sweat and be tortured by these drab sports anchormen, all about 50ish, in suits and monotone voices, go over and over their predictions for the Superbowl, the Stanley cup, the NBA finals, the steroid controversy, the Australian Open, the Redskins hiring a new coach, the list goes on and on. However, you may be shocked, as I am, to discover that watching the clips of very fit guys in tight pants running down a field is rather titillating. And these are some very attractive human beings, let me tell you. There's also the extra-large basketball players, and Tiger Woods,
who would be candy to any one's eyes. So while you all may be catching some extra beauty sleep as the sun comes up, I, myself, am having visions of Junior Seau of The Patriots
whisking me off of the elliptical trainer and into his very beautiful biceps. Hea- whatever works!

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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