Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Issues of the Heart

Being a parent is hard. Not only from a physical perspective, where your kids have more energy at 6am than you do all day, or mentally, where you are constantly challenged to know how to best guide your children on their way, but spiritually, where you long to shelter these human beings that you love from any and all disappointments. Lily is struggling right now with an old friend of hers at school . As a mother, I long to just envelope her in my being, holding her tight against the angst that this girl is provoking within her. Yet, what I know in my heart is that what Lily needs right now is more objective advice that she can grow from- so she can learn the best way to navigate the rough patches that are inevitable in life. Lily sat down with me this evening and the conversation quickly turned from one of benign chit chat to a torrent of emotions- her pain pouring out of her in waves. As the tears streamed down her cheeks, she told of how this old friend has been manipulating her during recess everyday, yelling at her any time she tried to play with others, even her own brother (yes, she actually does apparently want to play with Liam, even at school!). She then proceeded to describe how mean this girl can be, when Lily appears to be spending time with her other friends, and how she even feels threatened because this girl is so much bigger than she is. I found myself wanting to tell her exactly what to do but stopping myself because I knew I needed to really listen to her and give her more of a reflection of her own feelings than those that are mine. We concluded our talk with the consensus that the school counselor needed to be involved-and though Lily was shouldering much of this herself, Tom and I would be advocating for her needs as she deemed necessary. Lily is such a light and easy-going person. What I want most for her is the ability to remain that way, as much as possible. Growing up is hard, isn't it?

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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