Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Do you ever think about times in your life where you've behaved shamefully and wish you hadn't? Do you ever think about writing letters to the people you have hurt in your life? I do. I actually think of this quite often. I did some really crappy things in the past, that I'm not proud of, and, though I know I can't undo the pain my actions caused, I have this urging from within to speak the words "I'm sorry." When I was in highschool, there was a rather overweight girl who had somehow become a pariah to the friends I used to walk with in the afternoons. I think they'd had some disagreements in middle school, or something of the sort. Anyway, anytime they would see this girl coming their way, they would all start to "moooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" in unison, and, though I didn't know her myself, I would participate in this horrific abuse. (and if you ever doubted that what comes around, goes around, you need not look any farther than the author of this blog, who is currently, as we are all aware, struggling with extra belly baggage). I saw this girl a few months ago, in passing, and I so wanted to approach her and voice my sorrow at what I'd done. I know that she must have been so hurt back then and perhaps still carries some of that burden today, who knows. But I didn't have the nerve. This I know, for all the people who made fun of me or bullied me in school, there isn't a one I don't remember. And if they called me today to apologize, I would certainly feel lighter within my soul.

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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