Thursday, September 20, 2007

Panic

My heart stopped this evening after I put Seth down and realized I hadn't seen or heard Benjamin in a while. Tom had gotten home late from work and thus wasn't around to keep a watchful eye on things when I went upstairs with the baby. At first we both just figured he was in the backyard or driveway, where he can often be found before dinnertime. I called to him for a good couple of minutes, in my loud "get the heck in here" mommy voice. No answer. Then the angry parent feelings set in and i stomped through the house and outside, ready to hurl him through the wall once I found him- so sure that he had disobeyed the cardinal rule of never leaving our property without asking. No answer. Then the panicked parent feelings washed over me like an ocean and I began pacing the cul-de-sac, now sure that he'd been abducted by the predator we received warning about by letter from the school today (man in his 30's attempting to lure 6th grader to his vehicle, with candy, in our neighborhood yesterday- ugh). Immediately it was Tom and I, as well as Donna and Georgina on the hunt for Ben- Donna attempting to reassure me that he was certainly going to be found. Suddenly I had this feeling that I should go back to the house and check again and sure enough, there he lay, fast asleep, in the la-z-boy in our basement, only the top of his head visible from the doorway. Whew. I was relieved but sickened. I think my heart is still racing, even now- almost three hours after the initial search began.

I took a drive tonight and pondered the horror of having your child go missing and what a devastating toll it must take on a family- not to know....a very dear friend of mine- a wise woman and sage of sorts- lost her daughter, who was abducted and murdered at age nine, her body located thirteen years later. I marvel, when I see her once a week, that she still stands and still believes in a God that is full of love and mercy for his people.

May I never live to know that kind of pain. Never.

To read more about Sarah Pryor and her wonderful mother, who has blessed me with her kind spirit, click on the following link:
http://www.sara.org/modules.php?name=Sarah


The Beautiful Barbara Pryor- My "adoptive mother-in-law" and terrific friend.

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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