Thursday, September 27, 2007

Letting Go



I'm having a sad morning. I headed off to Community Bible Study , after much stress (seth's car seat wasn't attached, no one had their shoes on, liam couldn't find his backpack....)only to turn around and come home. I've been having this gut feeling that I should quit this part of my life for a while, as Seth is miserable and the process of getting into the city is long (about an hour, with rush hour traffic), arduous, and makes me cranky. Afterward, on the return drive, I had a thought provoking conversation with my friend Beth: if getting to church, or the like, makes you stressed out and mean, it goes against the very fiber of what spirituality is to be gained by going and, therefore, does more harm than good. She's right. Thursday mornings have been hard on the boys and I since we began attending CBS last fall. I chose to go to a group that meets in a more diverse part of Pittsburgh, so it is quite a haul to get there. While it has been a remarkable time for me, and I've learned so much about the Bible by being in this study, it has only been a marginal experience for the boys- and perhaps one that doesn't lend itself to that peace of Jesus. I'm going to be taking inventory of my life this week, seeking to uncover ways that I can simplify our schedule so that life is more joyful and less hectic. But letting go of something I've counted on is hard and I will be missing my CBS friends tremendously.

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Forty-three year-old, mother and staunch advocate of four young children, passionate warrior of truth and self, finding the soul in each day, sharing my struggles and triumphs as I live them. Mostly I do this for me, so my thoughts don't race as much at night as they used to. But I also give this to those of you who need to know, in any or every way, that you are not alone.

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